

I prefer to have folks over for meals, and over time it’s grow to be second nature. I observed a recurring query from associates and readers centered across the fundamentals of internet hosting. Curious to know extra, I put out a query on Instagram asking which internet hosting matters you need me to cowl. Again and again, folks requested methods to plan a cocktail party—particularly methods to determine who to ask amongst totally different good friend teams who don’t know one another.
With so many questions on methods to provoke internet hosting within the first place, I wish to share my recommendation on methods to plan a cocktail party at house. This consists of methods to create a visitor record, methods to determine on a date, and methods to ship invitations. It’s these preliminary steps that will sound easy however usually get folks caught and deter them from internet hosting in any respect.
I hope this submit removes a number of the obstacles that hold so many from planning dinner events (or brunches, glad hours, and easy afternoon get-togethers) and connecting with the people in their lives.
If you happen to’re looking forward to extra internet hosting content material, my good friend Lisa and I are launching an entertaining collection on Wit & Delight later this month. We’ll dive into methods to host totally different sorts of gatherings at house. In every submit, we’ll share the whole lot you might want to know to make internet hosting a breeze, together with a timeline for the day earlier than and the day of, an in depth grocery record, and recipes for every menu merchandise. Keep tuned!
Easy methods to Plan a Dinner Social gathering in 3 Easy Steps
1. Create a Visitor Checklist
Ask Your self a Few Questions
Earlier than creating your visitor record, ask your self a couple of questions. The primary is, How many individuals can I comfortably host? This query components in constraints like house in your house, time in your schedule, and the way a lot you wish to funds. I nearly all the time assume it’s higher to ask fewer folks (often between two and 4) than a big group. I favor to have talked to everybody at my home!
Subsequent, ask your self, What do I wish to get out of the event? This query helps me slender down what I would like the gathering to appear to be and who I wish to invite. Your reply could be one of many following (or one thing else solely):
- Construct new relationships
- Strengthen relationships I have already got
- Intermingle good friend teams
Create Your Visitor Checklist
Listed here are a couple of methods you could possibly go about it, primarily based in your solutions to the questions above.
- In case your purpose is to construct new relationships, take into account inviting as much as 4 folks you aren’t tremendous shut with but.
- In case your purpose is to strengthen relationships you have already got, take into account inviting one or two shut associates.
- In case your purpose is to intermingle good friend teams, take into account inviting 5 or so folks from totally different social circles who you assume would get pleasure from attending to know one another.


Visitor Checklist Examples
To shed some gentle on what totally different visitor lists appear to be, listed below are a couple of examples of gatherings I’ve hosted.
Internet hosting folks from totally different good friend teams.
My purpose for this type of event is to nudge my associates (and myself) out of their consolation zone and provides them the prospect to attach with folks they may get pleasure from.
I hold these sorts of events to 5 company max (six together with me). I discover that something greater than six folks makes it troublesome for everybody to have an opportunity to get to know one another. Six folks is the proper quantity for group conversations and aspect conversations.
Internet hosting two households from the children’ college.
My purpose for this event was for Joe and I to easily get to know a couple of {couples} we’ll be interacting with at college on a private degree.
I saved the visitor record to 2 {couples} so it might be simple to attach with everybody in attendance. Any greater than two might imply we’re chatting in small pods fairly than connecting altogether.
As a bunch, we determined to have children at this dinner for a similar motive: We wished the children to have an opportunity to get to know each other higher, too. On this case, one household had an older sibling who was “in cost” of the children whereas we ate. We divided cooking for the grownup menu between households and ordered pizza for the children as an alternative of getting them eat the identical meal as us.
Internet hosting one core group of associates.
My purpose for this type of event is to meet up with folks I really like in a relaxed setting.
On a current event, I invited a bunch of faculty associates I hadn’t seen shortly. I saved the visitor record to 4 (5 together with myself), which felt like a sufficiently small quantity to get correctly reacquainted with everybody.
Internet hosting one good friend (or one couple) for a easy meal.
My purpose for this type of event is to really reconnect with this one individual (or couple).
That is an instance of internet hosting I flip to quite a bit—and it’s one I believe folks neglect about or low cost. These easy events are how I keep shut relationships with the core associates in my life. The meal is often quite simple, like a hearty soup or a giant, warming pasta dish.
2. Determine on a Date
Upon getting your visitor record, determine on a date. If I’m internet hosting a extra elaborate gathering, I’ll often go for a weekend. If I’m internet hosting one thing easy, a weeknight is an effective alternative.
I would select one date primarily based on what works for me and what I believe will work nicely for the folks I’m inviting. Or, I’ll slender in on a few dates that work for me after which ship a brief record of choices to the company, to allow them to chime in primarily based on their availability. If it’s a more recent group of individuals I haven’t hosted usually, I’ll seemingly ship a couple of choices. If it’s a detailed group of associates, I’m extra more likely to merely select a date.
Bear in mind, because the host, you’re within the driver’s seat. Don’t be afraid to be decisive! Whereas it’s generally essential to ship choices as an alternative of merely making the selections your self, I discover that crowdsourcing preferences might be overwhelming. A part of the function of the host is to information issues alongside, not solely on the day itself but in addition within the planning course of.
3. Ship the Invitation
Easy methods to Ship an Invitation
My advice: Maintain invites easy! I nearly all the time ship the invite through a easy textual content. Right here’s what it seems to be like:
- If the folks I’m inviting already know one another, I’ll often ship a bunch textual content.
- In the event that they don’t know one another, I textual content every individual individually and embrace a listing of attendees in order that they’re conscious of who else will probably be there. As soon as everybody has confirmed, I’ll merge the textual content thread so I can hold everybody within the loop on particulars. Since everybody’s already on the identical textual content thread, new acquaintances can skip the step of swapping numbers in the event that they wish to reconnect after the social gathering.
- If I have been internet hosting a extra elaborate gathering with a big group (which is uncommon), I might take into account one other route like sending a Paperless Publish invitation through textual content. I’m not a lot of an e mail individual on the subject of dinner plans!
I believe it’s finest to defer to no matter communication medium you most frequently use with associates. For me, that’s textual content. If that’s e mail for you, go for it!
When to Ship an Invitation
As a normal rule of thumb, the much less shut you might be to the company, the additional out the invitation must be despatched. The nearer you might be to them, the nearer the invite can exit. If I’m crowdsourcing dates, I are likely to ship the invitation textual content somewhat sooner than I might in any other case. Listed here are a couple of normal timelines I have a tendency to stay to:
- If I’m internet hosting a mixture of folks from totally different good friend teams, I’ll ship the invitation 14 to 30 days upfront.
- If I’m internet hosting new associates, I’ll ship the invitation 7 to twenty days upfront.
- If I’m internet hosting my core group of associates, I’ll ship the invitation 3 to 14 days upfront.
- If I’m internet hosting one shut good friend or couple, I’ll ship the invitation 3 to 14 days upfront—or generally even on the morning of.


Pattern Invites
Within the invitation, I embrace all the important thing particulars: The date, time, visitor record (if it’s not a bunch textual content), and if I’ve any particular plans they need to learn about. If I’m internet hosting anybody I haven’t had over earlier than, I’ll additionally ask them to share whether or not they have dietary restrictions so I can plan or replace the menu accordingly.
Listed here are a couple of pattern texts I’ve despatched:
- “Hey! I’m making a lasagna, wish to come over tonight? Children are welcome.”
- “We haven’t cooked collectively shortly, let’s discover a date that works for the group! I’m fairly open in Sept. How in regards to the week of Sept 12? I’ll host.”
- “Lisa, Marlo, and I are cooking collectively on August 6. Are you able to be a part of us at my place?”
- “Hello! I’d to have you ever and your spouses over for dinner. We’re round August 16,17, and 24-18. Any of these dates be just right for you? Children or no? I’m open to both!”
Do What Works for You
The singular piece of recommendation I’ve for planning a cocktail party is to do it in a approach that displays you. I’m fairly informal, which is why textual content messages and shorter timelines work for me. If you happen to’re a extra formal individual, prolong the invitation in a approach that feels most comfy. Perhaps you prefer to make plans additional upfront. If you happen to’re Kind A, use a Doodle to crowdsource dates and assign folks one thing to deliver. Folks like to be instructed what to do in conditions like this!
While you open your self as much as connecting with others in your house over meals, don’t be tempted to cosplay Martha Stewart. The perfect invites are ones despatched with the real intent of spending time collectively. You’ll be able to’t go unsuitable if each resolution you make is with this in thoughts.
Like this subject? Learn these posts subsequent:
Cookbook Club 101: What It Is and How to Start Your Own
7 of My Best Tips for Hosting a Dinner Party Everyone Will Enjoy
My 8 Favorite Cookbooks to Cook From Right Now
6 Entertaining Essentials That Make Hosting More Seamless


Kate is the founding father of Wit & Delight. She is at present studying methods to play tennis and is endlessly testing the boundaries of her inventive muscle. Observe her on Instagram at @witanddelight_.